Nathalie Kelley

California

It amazes me how many different worlds can exist within one place, and how one city can mean so many things to different people. When I first drove back down to LA last December after a dreamy 5 months up in the Pacific North West, I felt knots in my stomach – a suffocating feeling that I couldn’t quite name. I had spent almost a decade in and out of LA. The majority of my experiences and friendships were connected to my old relationship, and not all the memories around them were good. The truth is, I had allowed that partnership to exert too much influence over my life and consequently had not been very happy. We were two very different people with two very different interests and outlooks in life and reconciling these differences had always been a struggle and often times quite painful. We didn’t share the same taste in people, food, films, things we liked to do in our spare time. It was a struggle to even get him to take a hike with me. And so after the breakup when I got the chance to move to Vancouver, I jumped at the opportunity to leave behind a place that held behind so many heartbreaking memories and to forge a new life full of new experiences and friendships.

It has now been a year since that big transition, and I am back in California with a fresh outlook on life, and a heart full of gratitude for the world I have created around me. The apprehension I felt last year driving back here is no longer – through design of energy I have cultivated a world full of meaningful friendships, tea, magic, nature, laughter and dancing. I go to sleep listening to the sound of owls and coyotes echoing throughout the canyon, I sit and meditate with my tea sister Baelyn over bowls of steaming pu-erh. I no longer have to ask permission to leave in the middle of the night to go to Joshua Tree with new friends, or feel guilty about spending 5 days up in Big Sur as psychedelic rainbows and redwood birthday parties give me life. My life is finally my own and this sweet freedom is something I am grateful for everyday.

Every day I send my ex loving kindness in my metta meditations. There is no anger or bitterness in my heart over anything that happened in the past. The present is such a gift and the future holds so much promise, that I can only wish the same for him and hope to one day share in each others mutual happiness.

Until that time I make no apologies for being happy or for living in my truth. Life is what you make of it and when I look around at all the beauty in my life, at all my amazing friendships and all the people who love and care for me, I can’t help but feel proud of the decisions I have made in the last year. Design of energy is a real thing. It is possible to curate the energy around oneself in order to bring in experiences of your choosing.

Recently I have found myself being asked about the authenticity of the images I put out on my social media. Does my life really look like that? Am I just showing off all the good things and presenting a false image of myself to the world? Yes and no. Obviously these pictures are a highly curated stream of images that reflect the beautiful things in my life – magical places, amazing people. And of course my life has its share of mundane or even painful experiences like doing my taxes or missing out on a role I care about.

But in general the images I share only reflect a fraction of the fun, magic and mystery in my life. There is no way I would have my camera out during profoundly moving tea ceremonies, sunrise dance parties in the desert or almost every time the crew and I bust out our moves during our weekly spiritual dance offs. My most treasured experiences I keep to myself and leave my camera at home to fully engage in the present.

And now the thank you’s. Thank you Baelyn for being my best friend, muse and guide through this time of incredible transition and growth in my life. Your wisdom has helped transform my life into what it is and I could never have dreamed up a friendship this powerful and profound. The westside dance crew who give me life every week with our reggae/latin/african dance church – Natalie and Elliot (my new favorite people), Diana and Greg (now old favorites, haha) and Brandon (love you). The Big Sur gang, Sue, Hilary, Blaise, Genevieve, Alana (Happy Birthday my loves), Cortlan and the talented Nicole Magnolia. Thank you to my new friend Jori, for all the wisdom and the laughter. Thanks to Oliver for including me in his amazing Body Glyph series (see his work on Baelyn in photos below). Other shout outs to Maria Calderon and her man Jordan, Tracy and Steven and Talia. You are my rainbow tribe and I love you.

Your outer world is a manifestation of your inner world. I’m proud of where I am in life because I remember where I have been, and know that I am a co-creator in my own current happiness.

Until the next adventure, love you guys,

Nat

*Thanks to Courtyln and Gladys Tamez for my beautiful hat, P.S Kaufman for my bad ass boots and Ginger and Gilligan for my beach tent.

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  • Breann Lathrop

    You are such a beautiful soul! Thank you for sharing your story with us! And your pictures are magical! Baelyn is a Goddess as are you!

    • Nat Kelley

      She is such a goddess and my muse! Thanks for appreciating my pics and story Breann. Love and light to you on your path!

      xx
      Nat

  • Felipe Moraga R.

    Thanks for sharing stories of your life with us, your way of enjoying life and his adventures are a great example for me! I wish you well in your life and my good vibes for you. many greetings and affections from chile! Adiós :)

    • Nat Kelley

      Gracias Felipe!! I hope to visit Chile one day and take beautiful pictures and see if your empanadas are really better than ours in Peru! Besos y abracos. xx Nat

      • ALEX OLIVER MOSTACERO FLORIAN

        Nat Kelley, claro que en Perú están las mejores empanadas…. me encantó tu respuesta… Bendiciones desde Lima – Perú. Grande Nat Kelley. En Perú Te Amamos.

  • Vanessa Viavant

    Reading your words are empowering. Happy for you that you are able to look at the city you now live in again with fresh eyes! You seem like the most fun and wonderful person!! Thank you for always being so genuine and radiant in sharing what you have to give to the world, be it your beatiful images, words, videos, etc. I can truly say that you are one of my greatest inspirations. Thank you for sharing your insights again and encouraging others to seek positive manifestation within their own lives as well. Blessings!✨

    • Nat Kelley

      Thanks Vanessa!! The shift feels so good! And it means a lot to me that women like yourself are empowered by my story, thats why I chose to share bits and pieces. Thanks for reading my blog. Perhaps our paths will cross one day, if thats the case then please say hello! :) x Nat

  • Lauren Eyton

    I have just been privileged with coming across your blogs which I found through your instagram and I can say is that I am truly inspired. What a beautiful soul you are and what an enlightened life you lead. I love your blogs and your photos are simply mesmerising. To think a fellow Australian the same age as me is living the life you do is so encouraging as it shows that anything is possible and it’s now awakened something in me that makes me want to be as free and in touch with myself, nature, with spirit and with those around me. I hope to one day inspire others like you have me. Love and light xx

    • Nat Kelley

      Aww thanks so much. It has been such a long journey, but after a long time I feel like I am finally back in alignment with my truth and my path. Your appreciation of my words and photos mean so much to me. Wishing my fellow Aussie sis lots of love, clarity, beauty and joy. xxxx Nat

  • Julia Khan Anselmo

    My favourite post so far! An authentic, warm and beautiful expression of words and images. LOVE you girl!

    • Nat Kelley

      SIS!! That means so much coming from you. I will love you always. xxx

  • Chris Watters

    Life is always changing. I am always impressed by your Love Nat. Most people forget that Love is the most important quality one can possess. As far as your artistic expression…sweet woman it shines through you. Always do what makes you happy and never mind those who don’t understand. Always welcoming the positive energy in…Thank you for inviting us on your journey. Sending you much love and blessings.
    xxxxx, Chris

    • Nat Kelley

      Receiving all your sweet love and blessings and sending some back your way. Bless, bless, Nat xx

  • Claudia

    Nat I absolutely adore your blog. I love it how you focus on what’s important. And your writing is very soothing and calming. I wish someday to find people like the ones you have around you. You are lucky to live in such a beautiful place. I feel this connection to nature but I have trouble expressing it, specially living in the center of Madrid. Also, you are absolutely gorgeous. Everything suits you, especially your own self. :)

    Muitos beijos e abraços! (Sou portuguesa e sei que sabes um pouco de português :) )

    • Nat Kelley

      Wow Madrid! I would love to come back to Spain… you should take advantage of the beautiful countryside and go on a road trip or two! Obrigada pelas palabras doces. Beijinhos. xxx Nat

  • Amanda Ficor

    Nat,
    Thank you so much for sharing this story as it could not have been read at a better time in my life. Most of my 7 years of living in LA has been a struggle due to relationships, one of 6 years quickly followed by another of 8 months (maybe not the best decision at the time.) Both began with so much passion yet ended with destruction due to our differences/choice of friends.. which then created guilt, a lack of self love and an inability to see situations clearly on my part. I’m moving back home to the east coast in a few days to clear my head and have been battling feelings of failure and uncertainty, but upon reading about your own journey with this city, I now know that once I take a step out of it I will finally be at peace with everything that I have experienced and close the wounds that are still open due to these relationships. Thank you again for sharing your inspiring journey and baring your beautiful soul. xx

    • Nat Kelley

      Sometimes a shift in scenery as what we need to gain a new perspective and learn from the past. Glad my post has helped you in some way. The present is such a gift! Love and light, Nat

  • Jessica

    I once stumbled upon BloodOrangeMoon a few years ago and have been following you since. Although I don’t know you personally, nor have I ever met you.. It’s so beautiful to see your journey and your personal growth, even over the internet. Continue to follow your heart and please share your story.. you really do inspire people! Your story inspires me to follow my path and follow my heart. And who knows.. maybe this year we’ll bumb into eachother on the playa while dancing!

    Much love from Amsterdam, The Netherlands.

    xxx, Jessica

    • Nat Kelley

      Jessica thanks for your sweet message! Your kind words mean a lot to me. Please come say hi if you see me on the Playa this year, that would be so magical. xx

  • https://www.facebook.com/RojdyLemsi Rojdy Kilic

    Hello Nat, to begin, I love you ! I have a question but a little speak english, I’m french.. Your speak french?You living in The place traveled or just traveled? Where is you today? I have a dream of travel the world such you and with you ! I’m sad, you not are in fast and furious… Thanks you verry much and good bye see you next time . ♥

  • tara

    PLease keep sharing your light your pictures and your journey, you touch more people than you know about. Do not listen to the negativity that surrounds the media. I used to be an actress and lived in LA and moved because of my sons autism some called it running away I called it choosing to live in the moment with my sons and being present to them. in my darkest hours I see your photos and it keeps inspiring me on my path. I live in a world that is still surrounded by movers and shakers in a big city where the hum never quietens down, i wish to move away to truly be me, to meditate and do yoga and all the things that I love, but is hard when there is no one around who thinks likes me. You give that hope to me so thank you .. thank you for sharing your soul your adventure with us.. xoxox

    • Nat Kelley

      Beaming love your way Tara. For you and your precious son. I’m so glad you find my posts inspiring and empowering, that’s always my intention. xxx

  • Mary

    Dear Nat, your photos and posts are so beautiful spiritually and empowering for women. Have you consider posting some of the photos uncensored on this site because the human body is the temple of all and the censor needed by Instagram is sad.

    I also like to suggest you herself.com another site for empowering women.

    Sorry my bad English.

    • Nat Kelley

      I’m so glad you like my blog! I don’t censor my blog, but i also take/post naked pics when it feels right and not contrived. We’ll see how I feel in the coming months now that its warmer!
      x

  • Caely Brandon

    Hi Nat! I saw on a recent instagram post that you’re selling your treasures, and also that you drink puer! I work in a little tea shop in eugene, OR that specializes in Taiwanese tea and has pounds of different types of puer, and am wondering if you’d be interested in doing a trade for what you’re selling (that is, if you have anything left after the sale!).

    Here’s the place I work if you want to check it out:
    https://www.jteainternational.com

    Thanks!
    Best,
    Caely

    Ps. I love your blog. So great to find other people who appreciate the Pacific NW as much as you do.

    • Nat Kelley

      Hi Carly, I just saw this! I love the PNW and puer! Sadly the sale is over but I am launching another online bazaar, it will have a few clothes and textiles. I would be happy to discuss a trade down the line. My next post will be about Cha Tao. :) xxxxx

  • maría jiménez

    Hola Nat.
    Inspiras tanta calma, belleza y armonía…
    Me encanta tu blog.

    Un beso. :)

  • theycallthewindmariah

    I noticed you went to big sur a truly magical place did you find the time to make it up to Humboldt? I have recently moved here searching for a fresh start the redwoods and hidden mermaid coves have allowed me to find peace in being alone as well as an inner craving to share it with others I have never before felt the free ness of spending the day naked dancing and frolicking along the shores of some of the most beautiful beaches with good hearted people I have discovered things about life and myself that were only possible by forgiving all those in my past as well as understanding that you must radiate happiness and optimism if u wish to receive them you are an inspiring lady and I say cheers to you for finding the strength to leave your long time partner that must have required a lot of courage I know I would have needed a lot of meditation and borage to get me through that kind of experience

  • Lunaberry

    Your blog is amazing! The photographs. Your writings. The music. The adventures. It’s all amazing and inspiring. Thank you for sharing.
    There is a part you wrote that I was hoping to get more information on.

    “Design of energy is a real thing. It is possible to curate the energy around oneself in order to bring in experiences of your choosing.”

    Energy in this way is something I think a lot about but haven’t actually read about. Would you be able to recommend any books that you found helpful in this area?

  • Julia Turski

    Hallo Nathalie,

    I love your blog. Can you tell me, which fragrance do you like wearing? You’re my idol, I was wondering which perfumes do you like! :)

    Kind regards
    Julia